BESTSALVIA.INFO

Is ethanol Little Bo Peep or the Ax Murderer?

That’s the question National Corn Growers CEO Rick Tolman presented to the media during a press conference in Washington DC on Wednesday, pointing to the front page article on ethanol and corn prices in the Washington Post as being the latest example of making ethanol out to be the ax murderer. “There’s a lot of misinformation, slanted information that is just inaccurate,” Tolman said. “While we do have some role in higher food prices in the corn industry, we are certainly closer to Little Bo Peep than the ax murderer.”

Tolman pointed out the importance of the US corn industry, the dramatic increases in yields and production and the fact that prices for petroleum products have a much greater impact on food prices than corn does.

“What do corn prices have to do with food riots in China and Pakistan and India over rice?” Tolman asked. “Absolutely nothing. There is no connection to rice production around the world with biofuels production in the United States. Absolutely none.”

Tolman blamed the disinformation in the media on a very clever marketing campaign by those with deep pockets. “If you want to know who the real ax murderer is slashing our grocery food budget, look at $4 a gallon gasoline, look at $120 a barrel oil,” Tolman said.

Listen to Tolman’s comments here:

This is one of PETA’s recent campaigns in the UK. It’s quite controversial, as you’d imagine.

I’m betting DaveWarwak would like it. I like the concept, but I don’t like PETA’s fat shaming. More on that further down. First, the good stuff.

On PETA’s website about it they say:

“Children are inherently drawn to animals. They would be appalled to learn that each year in the United Kingdom, more than 900 million mammals and birds – and countless fish – are killed for food, and millions more die from stress, suffocation, injuries or disease in the food industry.”

I completely agree. Most children love animals and they are literally traumatized when they learn where meat comes from. They are desensitized to violence against animals because eating meat teaches children that violence to animals is socially acceptable under many circumstances. This is a tough lesson that is wholly unnecessary. And it results in real trauma to children, hurt that many carry throughout their lives whether or not they recognize it as such. So, on this point, I agree with PETA that feeding your children meat is a form of child abuse.

(Here are two podcasts related to the trauma of the lies parents tell their children in order to feed them meat: animal advocacy and emotional stress and becoming re-sensitized. Here’s an article about teaching children peace.)

Don’t get me wrong, here. I think feeding kids meat is institutionalized child abuse, not individualized child abuse. I don’t think parents ought to be punished for feeding their kids foods that are not only socially acceptable, but that are also heavily marketed directly to children and that are supported by the government in the form of agricultural subsidies. (And it should also be noted that I’m referring the US here, not the UK.)

But PETA’s main point is this:

“As a parent, you want your children to live full, productive and happy lives. So isn’t it about time you stopped feeding them a diet which leads them down the path of misery, morbid obesity and playground mockery? Stuffing your kids full of burgers and bangers will not only make them fat and lethargic – it may also set them up for a host of health problems, including heart disease, diabetes and several types of cancer. In fact, kids as young as 3 have shown signs of clogged arteries!”

PETA should have led with the health problems since they are far more important and relevant. Increasing your kids’ risk of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer through meat-eating is serious and could easily be considered child abuse since vegan foods are easily available. There’s no reason to feed children meat. As a parent, you can’t ensure that your child isn’t exposed to disease, but you can limit their exposure. For example, you might not be able to move out of Louisiana’s cancer alley, but you can serve healthy meals to your children.

My problem isn’t with the concept. I agree that feeding kids unhealthy foods, such as meat, is a form of abuse. To be sure, I don’t think it’s the worst type of abuse and I certainly wouldn’t support diverting funds away from prevention of other, more traumatizing forms of child abuse in order to prevent this type of child abuse. But I do agree with PETA that feeding children meat is a type of child abuse. My real problem with the ads is the fat shaming.

PETA’s fat shaming is unacceptable. The campaign should not be “Fight The Fat” and instead should be “Prevent Disease.” While there is a causal link between meat-eating and obesity for many people, there are plenty of fat vegetarians and vegans. I know them. In fact, my BMI places me in the “overweight category.” PETA tends to overlook us fat veggies and our objections to their claims that vegetarianism necessarily results in weight loss.

Statements like “fight the fat” are direct attacks on all fat people: meat-eaters AND vegans alike. It’s as though PETA’s campaign thinks “playground mockery” is acceptable when it’s done against fat kids. Well, it’s not. Bullying is wrong. Fat shaming is not OK. From Healing Trauma In Ourselves And Our World - part 1:

“We have to be willing to dig deep into our personal and collective histories, to face squarely the fact that it is never “okay” or excusable for a child to be ridiculed, slapped, ignored, talked down to, manipulated, made to feel ashamed, or otherwise mistreated, and that such mistreatment leaves lasting scars and baggage that are not always apparent at first glance.”

PETA’s ad campaign could very easily be interpreted, particularly to children reading the billboards, to mean ‘fight the fat kids’ and ‘bully the burger-eater.’ PETA should be a bit more careful.

This and some other PETA campaigns tend to ignore the reality that vegetarianism and veganism does not make everyone skinny. Certainly, vegetarianism and veganism are much healthier than meat-eating and many people will lose weight on a veg*n diet, but not everyone. The ones who do, usually lose weight because their omnivorous diet was excessively high in calories and their new veg diet is unintentionally lower in calories. Increased fiber from fruits and veggies helps with weight loss, but it can only do so much. So, if someone switches from a low meat diet to a no meat diet, they might not see any weight loss. Likewise, if someone switches from vegetarianism with low diary/eggs to veganism, they’re unlikely to see weight loss. (That last example represents me.) Moreover, gradual changes are less likely to result in significant weight loss than dramatic change because the body compensates. (Point being: if you want to lose weight, go vegan cold turkey and cut calories. But remember, you’ll still probably need to exercise, too.)

By ignoring the basic premises of weight loss - reduced caloric intake and/or increased caloric expenditure (diet and exercise) - PETA encourages unrealistic expectations for people converting from an omnivorous diet to an herbivorous diet. News flash: if you eat the same amount of calories and don’t increase your exercise, you won’t lose weight. It’s just that simple. PETA’s promotion of vegetarianism = weight loss can backfire and wind up with a lot of disappointed people who care more about weight loss than animals so they go back to eating meat. That doesn’t help animals, much, does it? All the while, the promotion of fat shaming hurts all fat people.

Andrew Baron today made a solemn promise on a stack of Bibles - he’ll never ever sell his Twitter account on eBay ever again.

Who is Andrew?  He’s the creator of Rocketboom and often a very vocal critic of others in the podcast and Web 2.0 world who a a couple weeks ago decided to sell his Twitter account on eBay to the highest bidder, and then somewhere had an attack of conscience and pulled the auction. As Sean said in his coverage the other day:

 The Craigslist offer has also been pulled now, and it seems Mr. Baron has canceled both of them because, as he said in an interview, he was told the bidders could “all (be) spam marketers, people who will do anything just to get their name out there, people who don’t understand Web 2.0 and blogging.”

I, like many of you, find it hard to believe that anyone is unaware of the menace of spammers, and that they may try to take a shortcut towards getting a foothold in the market and a potential direct line to people’s mobile inboxes.

As I noted on our last episode of Elite Tech News, though, while the first Twitter account sale might fetch a pretty penny, but as soon as the new ill-intentioned spammer got a hold of it, statistics show from the RU4Real study, that most folks would instantly unsubscribe, giving the Twitter account a remarkably short shelf life.

You can play the latest Elite Tech News episode right here with the player below, or you can download the MP3 file directly here.

Get the Elite Tech News podcast here.
Add directly to iTunes here (or give us a rating).
Add directly to your Zune here.

---
Related Articles at Mashable! - The Social Networking Blog:

Rocketboom Founder Pulls eBay Auction For His Twitter Account
Rocketboom Founder Does It eBay With Twitter Account
Podbridge - Better Podcast Statistics?
Confirmed: Joanne Colan is Rocketboom’s New Host
Trillian Astra’s Awesomeness, Google TV Ads, Mockatoo, S! Town, Rocketboom Socnet
ArtFlock Lets You Buy, Sell and Rate Art
Breaking: YouTube’s Chad Hurley To Make $326.2 Million

It’s the third TAB Weekly Podcast! We’re covering previous TAB articles as well as Apple Q1 results, Salesforce.com Mac switch, Motorola market share, and more!

As usual, I’m joined by Brian Warren.

You can listen to the podcast here in the player below or subscribe to the feed in iTunes. You can also subscribe directly to the our podcast feed.

We’d love to get your feedback on what you’d like to hear and if you have anything you’d like us to talk about or questions you’d like answered, we’ll be glad to put them in the show.

Download audio file (tabweekly-04242008.mp3)

[SEO Marketing Articles] Have you ever wondered how exactly search engine marketing works or how search engine optimization can help your business? Search engine marketing relies on the basic principles of search engine optimization. Search engine optimization ...

Add to iTunes | Add to YouTube | Add to Google | RSS Feed

Geoff Smith created the most amazing ring tone for me! He emailed to thank me again for hooking up Cali Lewis and himself during the iYule launch party, and for the video I made regarding this project. He wanted to show me a project that he is doing for the iPhone. The project he is talking about can be found at RingToneFeeder. He recorded this just to thank me for the time I gave to the iYule project.

RingtoneFeeder is a weekly automated delivery of original ringtones exclusively produced and optimized to sound great on the iPhone. When buying content on CD or DVD we have come to expect bonus material as part of the deal - such Special features often include deleted scenes, exclusive sound tracks, bloopers, wallpapers and many other goodies. When you subscribe you will instantly get the latest 5 ringtones released and then at least one new ringtone every week for as long as you remain subscribed. At only $1.98 per month or $19.98 for a full year, it’s a great deal.. and will make you the envy of all your friends.

I’m not only bringing this up to thank Geoff. There is something that many people overlook when they have a presence online… their reputation. The more bad things you do, the more people who will not want to interact with you. They won’t want to talk to you, trust you or believe in you. With online communication, all you have is your reputation. This is why I am as happy-go-lucky as I can be. This is why I reciprocate as many friendships as I can. That’s part of my reputation. What is my rep? To me, I’m all about having fun, meeting people, and helping as many of you as I can. I do my best to maintain a healthy reputation. I’m very transparent about myself, with good reason. I don’t want to ever be perceived as having something to hide.

When I was visiting my family last week in Iowa, my Mom clipped out an article from the Reader’s Digest. My brother also mentioned the same article. My brother Adam is now doing some live streaming of his own! It’s really cool. He’ll listen to some music, and then sketch a picture to go along with it, all on the stream. He’s a great artist, and a lot of fun. So be sure to check him out! Anyway, I digress. What I learned from the article is that there are younger people online who don’t care about their reputation. They are rude, and break rules on nearly every site they join. There are many people who have been kicked off of the University of Iowa’s football team, due to things they posted online that they shouldn’t have.

Too many people have the misconception that things done online cannot impact your “real life”. There are things I did online over ten years ago that I wish I wouldn’t have, of course. I try to stay very cognizant of the fact that anything I do online can be tracked, and leads back to my reputation.

What kind of reputation do you have online? More importantly… what are you doing to keep that reputation intact?

• The Rapid Fat Loss Handbook.
• Info Market Results.

Want to embed this video on your own site, blog, or forum? Use this code or download the video:

<object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6N5iHRO41rg"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6N5iHRO41rg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br /><a href="http://chris.pirillo.com/">Chris</a> | <a href="http://live.pirillo.com/">Live Tech Support</a> | <a href="http://media.pirillo.com/">Video Help</a> | <a href="http://feeds.pirillo.com/ChrisPirilloShow">Add to iTunes</a>

Related Content:

• Dual Monitors: Is There Any Need?
• Best Buy Coupons
• Virtual CPU
• Companies I Hate
• Tips for Buying a Monitor

Thinking of 10 ways to get traffic to your website or blog and here's what I came up with first, some are more popular and respected than others:

Pay for it search engines - Google, Yahoo, and those have tons of traffic they will sell you.

Pay for it other websites - Buy banners and links (with nofollow) from websites that already have the eyeballs you want.

Get traffic from links (linkbait) - Write content that people like to link to. People follow the links to your site.

Get traffic from social networks (twitter, facebook) - Be sure to tell your friends when you create new content and they will show up.

Get traffic from parasite seo (ezine articles, squidoo) Put quality articles on sites like these and they will rank high in search engines and put a link back to your site in the article footer sending you the traffic.

Get traffic from SEO Write your butt off about topics that people want to know about but there aren't many search results about yet. New products and news come out everyday and the competition starts at 0 for these every day.

Get traffic from offline promotion Business cards, stickers, tshirts, etc.

Get traffic from email Put your website url in your signature, do something creative with it to get more clicks. Email people about interesting content you create and tell them they should look at it cause they might like it.

Get traffic from Video (youtube, yahoo video, etc) Put your url in your description and watermark your videos with your url.

Podcast marketing - Many people have podcasts about your topic with very large audiences. Get people with podcasts to talk about you.

Your turn; What are more tips to get traffic?




Add your comments by visiting the original post: Blog Traffic Tips

---

The preceding text is Copyright www.45n5.com for fun and profit - Full Disclosure

---

As using sounds produced on unusual 8-bit systems and game consoles grows in popularity, some artists are appropriating the music as their own. Sometimes, as with Beck, a well-known or better-marketed artist is using lesser-known artists for purposes of novelty. That alone has riled some in the hard-core chiptune community. In some cases, though, artists are resorting to outright theft. In the most recent case, part of the problem is people misunderstanding Creative Commons licenses, even though those licenses are designed to encourage sharing.

Is Creative Commons a safe license to use, or does it encourage this kind of theft? I think CC is actually a solution, not part of the problem – and this illustrates that.

Not Just Timbaland: Fitts for Fights Syndrome

Online music piracy is well known. But ready access to music online has led to a much more serious problem: digital plagiarism.

The best known case, of course, is the infamous 2007 Timbaland Controversy, in which Timbaland apparently stole musical elements from Finnish demoscene artist Tempest in the song Do It by Nelly Furtado. (See EM411 story, Wikipedia article.) But Timbaland isn’t alone.

At least Timbaland was using a sample; some artists steal whole songs outright. The notorious Norwegian duo Fitts for Fights performed entire sets stolen from demoscene/"microscene" recordings — and kept playing the stolen tunes live.

In April of this year, Laromlab released an entire album — every last track — stolen from other recordings. After CMJ reported the story, widely discussed on chip community 8-bit collective, the "artist" was forced to admit the entire album was a "hoax." (Thanks, Peter Swimm, for the tip.)

In fact, the track record here demonstrates that, for all Timbaland’s press as the most famous figure involved, micromusical plagiarism is rampant. It’s not just geeks getting defensive; there’s something to this, fueled by the novelty and apparent obscurity of the music. (See also: an ongoing thread on Pouet.net.)

Crystal Castles and Creative Commons

The latest episode combines 8-bit musical plagiarism with an abuse of Creative Commons licenses. Crystal Castles is a Toronto-based band that’s gotten quite a lot of positive press for their use of 8-bit sounds, including a keyboard with an Atari chip. (And there’s the source of the problem: this stuff is "hot" partly because it’s novel to mainstream press.)

Unfortunately, some of Crystal Castles’ sound apparently isn’t their their own.

8-bit collective again noticed something is amiss, this time with their track "Insecticon." Far from simply sampling a track, the tune rearranges entire musical contents as the basis of the new tune. (Many in the 8-bit collective community at least claim they’re pro-sampling.)

There’s a difference in this case, though: the tune in question is Creative Commons-licensed. It’s possible Crystal Castles thought, incorrectly, that that meant "free." However, the CC license used specifically requires attribution, non-commercial use, and that the derivative work be released under the same license — that’s three strikes against Crystal Castles. The GPL license used in open source software has similar stipulations, and neither license means something isn’t protected by copyright law — the maker of something is still the copyright holder, and uses those rights to define the way in which they want their work used and shared.

Noted chiptune musician Marc Nostromo (M-.-n) writes us with a detailed explanation:

1. There is an unreleased track of Crystal Castles called ‘instecticon’ that borrows whole chunks of belgian artist lo-bat’s work.
Here is crystal’s track:
Insecticon
and here is lo-bat’s
My Little Droid Needs a Hand
Even tho the original track has been pitched down and chopped, there is no doubt it’s the same. Gameboy sounds are hard to get and the chances of getting the same complex sound lo-bat can get is absolutety zero.
The track is also featured on CC’s record label myspace
http://www.myspace.com/liesrecords
and although it NOW says lo-bat Vs. CC, it wasn’t before the story got found out:
http://discodirt.10pm.org/insecticon.png
Another ‘unreleased’ track of them ‘bitter hearts’ is just a mash up of several lo-bat tracks with ugly drums on it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4vWlbO_qoQ

2. There are two aspect in this.

A) The first is obviously that Crystal Castles broke (and still does) the creative common license that the track was released under. The license specifies that the track can be used, remixed and transformed under the following conditions:
1- Attribution. You must give the original author credi t
2- Non-Commercial. You may not use this work for commercial purposes.
3- Share Alike. If you alter, transform, or build upon this work, you may distribute the resulting work only under a licence identical to this one
In this case, non of the points have been respected.
It’s quite a big deal since a LOT of artists are trusting creative commons and this story puts the license to doubt, since it seems people can break it and use other people’s work to look cool or build a hype. Even if lo-bat’s work has not been directly used for commercial purposes, it certainly has been used to build the image that they were out there, build press and get visibility.

B) Crystal Castles has been getting a lot press using the image of getting sounds nobody did before by using modified old console chips and is somehow stealing the whole ‘concept’ that the chiptune community is based on, and now we discover that rather than thanking the very own ground of this, they actually ripped the guts of it.

It’s actually not the first time they steal someone else’s artwork, there’s been quite a big issue about them using someone else’s drawing for their own stuff.

The artwork example is a good one. In that case, Crystal Castles "found" an image that they decided to use without credit for promotional materials in the hopes that "the artist might reveal themselves." Then, when that artist did reveal himself, it seems the band strung him along about payment and used the artwork on everything from an album cover to t-shirts without permission. (Hint: if you’re a band and think you might yourself get into similar trouble, put it in writing and avoid fights. Well, unless you’re trying to rip off the artist, in which case, uh, behave like Crystal Castles?)

They Fought The Law And The Law Won

I’d like to respond to the concerns about CC.

This isn’t the first time Creative Commons itself has been under scrutiny. Virgin Mobile got into trouble when it used Creative Commons-licensed images from Flickr in an ad campaign. (See discussion on Creative Commons’ site.) That case was similar to this one:

1. Virgin didn’t follow the license terms. They simply assumed the CC-licensed stuff was "free" and violated specifics of the license.

2. A CC license doesn’t mean you’re magically above the law. In Virgin’s case, the bigger problem was that the CC license doesn’t excuse you from the need to get a model release, legal permission to use someone’s image. When people in the photos found themselves plastered around the city without their permission, they were understandably upset — which is why the laws protecting people are in place to begin with. Now, I’ll admit, this is one rule that gets regularly ignored — but that doesn’t change the law, and it seems if you were plastering someone’s image on bus stops everywhere, you’d be more than typically cautious.

CC, of course, isn’t to blame, and far from discouraging people from using CC licenses, I think this illustrates the need for them. Bottom line:

• CC isn’t the problem. Works released under a traditional copyright are just as susceptible to abuse as works released under a CC license. These rules are tough to enforce sometimes — but that doesn’t mean they’re not the law.
• You still own what you make, for a reason. International and national laws protect creators from other people abusing their work. Copyright law came about because creators’ livelihoods were threatened by people stealing their output. Just because something isn’t a physical object doesn’t mean it isn’t theft if someone else takes it, especially if they call it their own. These laws hold even if you use "free", open source licenses or Creative Commons licenses. They give you the freedom to share your work in the way you want. Even the most radical advocates of these licenses believe in that right. Anyone who thinks they’re above the law because of a license is dead wrong.
• The best enforcement is publicity. True, online access is making this kind of theft more common — but it’s also making it easier to track. Websites helped publicize all of the cases in this story. They didn’t always result in financial damages, but they did help put credit where credit was due, and often stopped the infringing activity from continuing.
• Creative Commons is helping, not hurting. By raising the visibility of copyright issues and specific licenses, CC is activating awareness of these issues. True, some people misunderstand CC licenses as meaning something is "free" — but that’s the point of CC. People assume anything online is "free" for their use. CC puts that responsibility back in the hands of the person making the stuff, and gives them choices about how something will be used (will it be non-commercial, will other people be allowed to remix their work, etc.)?
• Sharing is good — and you shouldn’t have to choose between sharing and your rights. The whole reason for Creative Commons is that people want to share their work, but they want some basic rights: they may not want someone making money off the result, and they will almost always want credit. The whole point of CC is that it’s your legal and ethical right to make those choices for what you’ve made.

CDM Goes CC

I haven’t done it literally because I haven’t gotten around to it, but it’s time for CDM to put its license where its mouth is. We’ve already released images and videos under a Creative Commons license, and this week we’ll be changing the license for all content on the site to a Creative Commons license. (I’ll update the footer with copyright notices on all our sites soon.) The thing is, traditional copyright rules unfortunately haven’t protected us in the way we’d like anyway; it doesn’t stop people from re-purposing RSS feeds for spam blogs, for instance. But for people who do obey the rules, we’d like to encourage sharing. We’ll be working on new projects that, beyond my usual ramblings and rants, could really benefit from this license. Stay tuned.

And if you have questions about CC in general, I have some contacts that can elucidate some of these legal issues. So stay tuned — we’ll follow up on this story, and on CC legality in general.

When the new iPhone is released later this year, will it cause as big a stir as the first version in 2007? Quite possibly, according to an article by Mike Wendland in the Detroit Free Press, which reports that rumors are flying among iPhone geeks about what might be on the new version.   It’s certain that the phone will be 3G, rather the using the not-so-good EDGE network. Additionally it will have exchange e-mail capacity, so users with Microsoft Exchange – meaning a lot of corporate people – will be able to use it, widening the market.   There

Read | Permalink | Email This | Linking Blogs | More Images | Mobile

Natalie Bovis-Nelsen, the cocktail mixologist who blogs and vlogs as The Liquid Muse, wrote an article for mediabistro.com about PR techniques that'll get you mentioned on blogs. You'll want to get mentioned on blogs, she says, because they've got global audiences, and they've increasingly become the place where "big media" outlets get story ideas—in some cases because bloggers also have a second career in freelance (or staff) journalism. "The new generations of consumers... expect to know what's new as it happens," Bovis-Nelsen declares. "By pitching blogs, your client and products can be exactly where readers want them to be: right in front of them, from the point of release onward." (As long as you don't screw up the pitch; Harlequin would no sooner send Maud its latest, for example, than Viking would try to tout All the Sad Young Literary Men to The Elegant Variation.)

So what does Bovis-Nelsen recommend to get their attention? Among other tips those of you in the online marketing departments will instantly recognize: Look before you pitch, keep it simple, have images or videos (or product samples) ready to send, and don't try asking them to revise away negative opinions after the post has gone live.

This article is one of several mediabistro.com features exclusively available to AvantGuild subscribers. If you're not a member yet, you can register for as little as $49, and start reading those articles, receive discounts on mediabistro.com seminars and workshops, and receive all sorts of other bonuses.

New Career Opportunities Daily: The best jobs in media

All right, Limited Edition Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme, let’s get you into these stirrups. Are you comfortable? Okay, we’re going to take this step by step. I’m now going to insert the speculum to separate your cookie.

Yes, “cookie” is an approved scientific term and we use it all the time at the OB/GYN conferences. Actually, I just gave a presentation at the American Academy of Obstetrics and Gynecology Conference titled, “Effects of Pregnancy on the Cookie — How Does It Crumble?”

Just to warn you, the speculum is going to be a little cold when I gently stick it in you. There we go. Are you doing okay? I’m going to open it up a bit. Is your va-jay-jay okay?

Yes, “va-jay-jay” is now an approved scientific term, thanks to Oprah and her powerful influence. If you look in any recent OB/GYN medical journal, like the Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology or VAG: The Virgin Island’s Articles of Gynecology, you’ll see it is used quite a bit.

So let’s take a look in there, Limited Edition Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme. You’ve got a nice healthy pink going on. It reminds me of bubblegum. Have you had any pain or discomfort in the pelvic, vaginal or rectal areas? No? Good. Have you had any issues with your period? No? Great. Have you had any unusual discharges? No? Good.

Okay, now I’m going to put on some gloves, lube up a little bit, and feel around in there. I’m going to press on your stomach and let me know if anything feels painful, besides me having two latex covered fingers up your taco.

Yes, “taco” is another approved scientific term. Actually, the American Association of OB/GYNs prefer the use of the term “pink taco.” Now I’m just going to stick this swab in you to get a sample. This will probably cause some discomfort. Are you doing okay? I got a good sample. Now I’m going to taste the sample. Don’t worry, it’s a new European technique that I learned at one of our overseas conferences.

Your sample is crunchy. Hmm…let me lick the center. The center of the sample tastes kind of like strawberry ice cream, like it should, since you are the Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme. Your balanced combination of strawberry creme and chocolate cookie is pretty good. I think I’m going to need another sample from you to taste, which I apologize for since it will be a little uncomfortable with the swab.

If only you had some vanilla, then I think you would make a mean Neapolitan Oreo. You know what. I think another sample is necessary, because I need to dip it in milk. I apologize again for the discomfort.

Hmm…it’s decent with milk, but I prefer dipping regular Oreos in milk.

Well your va-jay-jay looks good, Limited Edition Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme. Do you have any questions for me? No? Well then, take care of yourself, avoid men who scratch their balls too much, keep your cooter away from schlongs it can’t handle, and I’ll see you in a few months.

Yes, “cooter” and “schlong” are now approved scientific terms.

(Nutrition Facts - 2 cookies - 140 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 45 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbs, less than 1 gram of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 1 grams of protein, and 1 gram of Kelis jokes.)

(Editor’s Note: For more Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme reviews without va-jay-jay references, check out the review from Phoood, We Called It, and Oreo Opinion.)

Item: Limited Edition Oreo Strawberry Milkshake Creme
Price: $3.89
Purchased at: Star Market
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Delicious. Creme center tastes kind of like strawberry ice cream. Kind of addicting, like regular Oreos. No trans fats. Mila Kunis.
Cons: Limited edition. Visits to the gynecologist. Not that great with milk, like regular Oreos are. Eating an entire tray of them in one sitting.

Listen to the audio version

ShareThis

One of the reasons I like to travel is to be reminded how interesting seemingly ordinary things can be. On a trip to Costa Rica last year, I had many such opportunities. Just walking into a local market made my eyes widen when I saw Tang in no fewer than eight flavors (Lime, Mango, Apple, Peach, Mandarin, Pineapple, and Strawberry—in addition to the original Orange). To someone who sees this selection every day, it would seem completely normal, but to me the thought of Mango Tang was exotic and exciting.

Most of the interesting things I found in Costa Rica, however, were natural ones. In the middle of a long drive from San Jose to the Caribbean town of Puerto Viejo, our group stopped at a restaurant for lunch. In front of the building, just a stone’s throw from the edge of the rain forest, was a tall plant that caught my eye. It looked exactly like a fan, with each of its long branches terminating in a single broad leaf. Not only was it nearly two-dimensional, it was completely symmetrical. It looked so perfect I wasn’t sure it was real. Our guide told us it was called a Traveler’s Palm.

A Tall Drink of Water
Later, while visiting a botanical garden, a botanist shared some fascinating details about this striking plant. For starters, the Traveler’s Palm (sometimes called Traveler’s Tree) is not really a palm at all, although the trunk gives it that appearance. It’s closely related to bananas (as you might guess from the shape of the leaves) and in the same family as the Bird-of-Paradise Flower. It gets its name from two distinctive characteristics. First, the leaves collect water and channel it into the base of the plant, so a thirsty traveler could cut a hole in the soft trunk and get a significant amount of drinkable water—about one liter per branch. Second, Traveler’s Palms tend to grow in an east-west direction, with each new branch turning either toward or away from the sun. So it can also serve as a sort of compass, to put you back on track after quenching your thirst.

The Traveler’s Palm, which goes by the scientific name Ravenala madagascariensis, is native to Madagascar, but can be found in tropical and subtropical regions all over the world. If you live in an area with the right climate and enough space, you can even grow your own. Its major requirements are sunshine, water, and protection from freezing and high winds. The trees can grow to be as tall as 60 feet (18.3m), so they’ll be much happier outside than inside.

Open Your Palm and Make a Wish
A few Web sites claim that there is a saying, “If you stand directly in front of a Traveler’s Palm and make a wish in good spirit, it will come true.” As far as I can tell, that saying exists only on the Web—I haven’t been able to locate evidence that this is a genuine part of any culture’s folklore. On the other hand, a small biotech company called Shaman Pharmaceuticals investigated substances produced by Traveler’s Palm as a potential treatment for adult-onset diabetes, with very promising preliminary results. That would certainly be a wish come true for many people. Unfortunately, the company has now gone out of business, and as far as I know, no one has yet picked up where their research left off.

Whether or not Traveler’s Palms can grant wishes or stabilize your blood glucose level, they are beautiful plants with extremely useful yet hidden properties. Explorers who have lost their way in the rain forest may like to look at a Traveler’s Palm and think of the spreading fan shape saying, “West is this way.” I like to think of the branches as forming an arrow pointing inward and saying, “Interesting things inside.” —Joe Kissell

Want podcasts of every article? Support ITotD by becoming a paid subscriber.

Permalink • Email this Article • Category:Science & Nature

More Information about Traveler's Palms...

A thorough and easy-to-read article on Traveler’s Palms can be found on the Floridata Web site. This is one of several sites I found with the quote about the “make a wish” saying. You can learn more in this PDF file from the U.S. Forest Service.

An article on the medicinal uses of rain forest plants, including Traveler’s Palm, is found on the Point of Light Magazine Web site.

If you’d like to try growing your own Traveler’s Palm, you can buy seeds from TROPILAB Inc..

I found quite a bit of disagreement as to the maximum height of a traveler’s palm—with some sources saying as little as 25 feet and others as much as 60 feet. Likewise, there are differences of opinion as to how “Ravenala” is pronounced. I’ve seen rav-eh-NAY-luh, rav-eh-NAH-luh, and even ra-VEN-ah-la. I’m not sure which source to regard as definitive.

Related Articles from Interesting Thing of the Day

• The Truth About Bananas
• The Oropendola
• Poison Dart Frogs
• Leaf Cutter Ants
• The Hidden Lives of Sloths
• The Stone Balls of Costa Rica
• Clepsydras
• Tree Tumbo

℗ & © 2004, alt concepts. All rights reserved.

DENVER, Colo., May 5 (SEND2PRESS NEWSWIRE) -- "It's important for job seekers to understand, if they can get news that a company is about to launch a new product, for example, or recently enjoyed a lot of growth in a particular division, or just won a big contract, these news items are signals that the employer will likely be seeking a lot of qualified people to help them take advantage of their opportunities," stated Steve Madden at the Denver headquarters of Job Market Access Center (JMAC Jobmarketaccess.com).

"Our online, real-time Emerging Jobs SuperSearch, scours the major wire services to find emerging jobs in the 'incubation stage' where events like these signal a near-term need for key talent. When you make contact in these early stages, there is little or no competition. SuperSearch puts them all at your fingertips for immediate action, with new entries every day.

"Job seekers can specify the state and industry they are interested in. If they get too many entries, they can focus only on the most recent events or, if they wish, they can go back and select only certain types of events," added Madden.

Some other examples of the kind of news Emerging Jobs SuperSearch gives job seekers would include new financings, real estate purchases, relocations, startups, and new CEOs being appointed. There are literally thousands of events every day that might signal opportunity.

Added Madden, "Out of millions of articles and releases scoured, only those that fit the criteria of the job seeker are selected. Most people wouldn't know where or how to find news of these event, because a lot of it never gets published.

At www.Jobmarketaccess.com, we give our job seekers access to as much as 85% of the advertised openings, including those from newspapers, recruiter openings, job boards, employer sites, and trade magazines. We also provide access to the unadvertised job market among employers, recruiters and growth companies."

Additional information: pr@jobmarketaccess.com or contact Steve Madden at 1-866-664-7440.

Copyright © 2008 Send2Press® Newswire, a unit of Neotrope®
TAGS: Send2Press Newswire, Job Market Access Center, unadvertised job market